


Miraculous Hellsing 2: Electric Bugaboo

by DeadmanDairyland



Series: Miraculous Hellsing [2]
Category: Hellsing, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, Inspired by Ladybug PV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 07:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11962284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadmanDairyland/pseuds/DeadmanDairyland
Summary: Le Papillon reveals he was, in fact, the butterfly in the machine all along.





	Miraculous Hellsing 2: Electric Bugaboo

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel that no one asked for to a fic that no one asked for.
> 
> This one's more silly than the first one. Which is fitting because Hellsing is silly. It's literally about Dracula using guns to fight the Vatican and an army of Nazi vampires. The more you think about it, the more ridiculous it gets.
> 
> (Again, trying to keep it age restricted so that no kids try to look up Hellsing. No idea if it's working or not. It probably isn't. Just... stay safe, everyone.)

Adrien stood over the giant butterfly logo on the destroyed bridge of the fallen _Papilione Ex Machina._ In front of him was once a man--his father, Gabriel Agreste--but was likely now a crater thanks to Ladybug's Lucky Charm: a German 88 millimeter flak gun. Hey, whatever works, right?

"Goodbye, Father," Adrien said, bowing his head.

He heard coughing in the wreckage and looked up in shock. He couldn't see beyond the smoke, but he could not imagine that anyone could survive such a blast.

"So quick to assume I'm dead," the voice of Gabriel spoke from the smoke. "I had no idea you wanted to get rid of me so badly, Son."

"H-How?" Adrien asked in utter disbelief. "There was no way anyone could survive something like that?"

"Funny you say that," Gabriel said as the smoke began to clear. "I've never felt more alive!"

The smoke cleared, and in its place sat Gabriel Agreste looking worse for the wear in more ways than one.

Marinette was the first to react. "You're a cyborg."

Sure enough, half of Gabriel was blown away by the blast. What was once assumed to be flesh and blood was now revealed to be cold, mechanical, robotic parts. It was less surprising in hindsight, so Adrien and Marinette quickly got over the shock.

"Good gracious!" Gabriel exclaimed. "Didn't your mothers ever teach you that it is rude to stare?" He glanced over at Adrien, whose unwavering stare immediately made Gabriel realize his faux pas. "Oh... Right..."

Gabriel turned back to Marinette. "Still, machinery aside, I'm just as human now as I was when I was a cutthroat fashion designer who constantly neglected his own son, Ladybug."

Adrien blinked, but quickly recovered. "Look at you, Father. A clockwork cat-astrophe."

"Is now really the time for puns, Chat?" Marinette asked, making a face.

"Deny it all you want, Adrien," the former Papillon told them. "My humanity is not in question. For you see, I still have one trait that sets us even above the angels."

"The ability to make puns?" Adrien asked.

"No," Gabriel said, "but good guess though. Witty one-liners are the best part of the metahuman experience, I've found."

"They sure are," Adrien said. "Looks like we finally agree on something."

"But no, that wasn't it," Gabriel announced. "It is my will that drives me, Adrien. You see, these kwamis you hold so dear to you... Without a human to transform they're pretty much useless! If it's a catastrophe you want, look no further than whatever forces conjured up these freaks of nature.

"A catastrophe?" Gabriel continued. "Me?! Don't make me laugh! As soon as I am able to move forward by my own unadulterated will, I am heir to something that kwamis cannot have on their own. Even if I were just a brain in a jar, left only to my thoughts, I'd still be more human than these kwamis, for inside me rests a human's soul... and a human's will, something no kwami can hold claim to!

"This entire legacy of the Ladybeetle and the Black Cat," he continued, "little heroes running around in polka-dot spandex and faux-leather suits, these larger-than-life personas that have existed in many forms throughout the centuries-- _all LIES!_ Every single one of them a scared little kid with a misplaced sense of duty and justice. I despise these creatures that would throw their charges into the line of fire and yet have the _GALL_ to act like they care about you! So I tore down their kingdom and cast them down into the dust!"

Gabriel's voice fell to a sullen tone. "How fitting that it took a man given life by trinkets to slay trinkets given life by man." Then it rose again. "THEY WERE CASUALITIES TO MY WILL!"

Adrien and Marinette continued to stare down at the former Papillon. Marinette in particular was concerned about what was going through Adrien's head. She'd probably be more concerned to find there was absolutely nothing happening there. Adrien was calm and seemed to not care about anything more.

"'My enemy is not human,' Gabriel continued. "'My enemy is less than human.' Ever since man first fought man, this battle cry was their justification for it. Of course, in my case, this battle cry is quite literal." He smiled as he looked at the emptiness in Adrien's face. "And I'm willing to bet that you're thinking it right now too, aren't you? This man before me, he isn't human. He never was. Is that correct?"

Adrien's silence only proved Gabriel's point. The father held his hand out to his son, in a way that totally wouldn't look like Adam holding his hand up to God if you looked at it from the side, we swear. Hellsing is way too over-the-top for that kind of subtlety.

"So wait, let me get this straight," Marinette said, breaking the silence. "You did all of this to destroy the kwamis? You destroyed, like, 90% of Paris and killed God knows how many people... to destroy the kwamis?"

"Yes," Gabriel admitted. "Though to be fair, that wasn't my original goal. I was actually trying to resurrect my dead wife. Then Nooroo dropped some Oban Star-Racers garbage on me and now I'm angry at the world."

Adrien's expression nearly softened at the mention of his mother, but it quickly went away when he reminded himself that this man--father or no father--basically destroyed all of Paris because he couldn't resurrect his dead wife. Adrien wasn't going to forgive him for that.

"So how about it, my little cat-erpillar?" Gabriel said to his son. "Trapped in a chrysalis for nearly two decades. Show me, Adrien, the butterfly that now emerges!"

**Author's Note:**

> And then both father and son pull out a pistol, Gabriel shoots Adrien in the eye, and Adrien shoots Gabriel in the face. Good stuff. Fun times. Don't look up Hellsing, kids.


End file.
